Chapter 8

The drive to Regina's place was filled with silence. Cillian sat in the back of the car, staring at the window with a prominent frown on his face. Despite the fact that Regina had just called him—informing him that she wasn't feeling all that well and needed to be rushed to the hospital—Cillian's mind wasn't filled with thoughts of concern or worry. No, his mind was elsewhere. Bellatrix. Like a plague, his mind continuously replayed the encounter that had occurred just a few minutes ago and each time he recalled how Damien had held her and how close they had been, a subtle wave of anger would wash over him and his blood would boil and his fists clench. However, what had upset him the most, was the way Bellatrix had looked at him, the way her eyes had met his and how there was no warmth in her gaze. All he could see was a familiar calm that unsettled him. For a brief second, he felt a wave of panic wash over him, the very same way he had felt after the death of his parents. The feeling of loneliness and the fear of being abandoned. However, as soon as the feeling came, Cillian frowned. Loneliness and abandonment? Why would he feel that way when it came to Bellatrix? She had no right, nor did he have any reason, to feel that way, after all, the person he loved was Regina and not her. It didn't matter to him if she wanted to leave. In fact, that was exactly what he had been praying for. Bellatrix, in his opinion, was a spoiled brat who bullied Regina because she had it all. Originally, he didn't despise Bellatrix like this, in fact, because of the long standing relationship between their families, he had dreamt of her becoming his wife. But then, after the death of his parents, Cillian had been left alone and bullied by his family members who only wanted his family wealth. At that time, Regina showed up, and she who wasn't also loved by many unlike Bellatrix, was his kindred spirit. She knew what it felt like to be parentless, to be bullied and unloved—unlike Bellatrix. So normally, Cillian's first response was to protect Regina. That instinct only grew more when he learned how the Lancasters, Bellatrix in particular, was treating Regina. That was the start of his hatred for her. That was the very moment he began pushing her away and wishing for her disappearance. But now that that wish was about to come through, it wasn't settling too well with Cillian. After a long while of silence, he finally sighed out. His assistant, who had been driving, glanced at him from the rearview mirror and asked. "Sir, is everything okay?" "Everything's fine," Cillian responded. However now, with thoughts of Bellatrix roaming his mind, he felt his mood had been ruined. Running a hand through his hair, he instructed. "Turn the car around." Kane, his assistant, upon hearing this, was surprised. "Turn the car around? But, what about Miss Regina?" Cillian thought for a second before answering. "Have Benedict take her to the hospital." Benedict was his other assistant. "Understood, Sir. Then, where shall I take you to, Sir?" Kane asked, eyes flickering between the phone in his hand and the rearview mirror as he relayed the information to his fellow assistant. There was a long pause before Cillian finally answered, his voice low and grim. “Take me to the underground gym. Rourke’s place.” Kane didn’t question it. He simply nodded and drove. When they arrived at the dimly lit entrance tucked between a fancy restaurant and a bakery, Rourke looked up from wrapping a trainee’s wrists. His brows shot up in surprise the moment he saw Cillian. “Well, well. Look who the hell the storm dragged in. Cillian, what brings you here after so long?" "I thought questioning your clients wasn't part of your policy." Came Cillian's response as he walked in, eyes flickering towards the trainee present. His gaze lingered for a few seconds and immediately, Rourke understood what his stare meant. Turning, he dismissed the trainee, closing down the gym as usual. "So, why are you actually here?" He asked. Cillian didn’t respond—just stepped forward, stripped off his jacket and unbuttoned the cuffs of his shirt. Rourke observed him quietly all the while, confusion flickering in his eyes. “It’s been what—four years? Thought marriage had mellowed you out. What happened?" He asked. "Stop questioning me Rourke and bring out your best fighter." Cillian demeaned as he put on a mask and the gym owner immediately complied. The man that came out was a touch bigger than Cillian but he had no issue handling him and thanks to his years of boxing, the fight ended quickly. However, his mind was still in the same state as it had been when he walked. Staring down at the beaten man before him, Cillian took off his mask, panting slightly as a layer of sweat coated his forehead. But even then, he didn't feel relieved. In fact, the emotions raging inside him were growing worse. As Rourke approached, the question that had been on his mind, suddenly slipped out. "Tell me, was I wrong?" He asked. "Huh?" Hearing this, Rourke looked confused, especially when it was coming from someone like Cillian who never considered himself wrong. "What are you talking about?" Cillian didn't answer immediately, for a second, his thoughts drifted. After the death of his parents, he had constantly suffered from a fever. And the person who had taken care of him then was Regina. For a short while during that period, he had expected Bellatrix to show up, but she never came. She had stayed away. He'd convinced himself it was because she didn't care. Because as the spoiled brat she was, pride had carved a throne in her chest, leaving no room for anyone else. That, amongst many other things, was the reason why he began hating her. And now… Cillian felt his eyes twitch in annoyance. "Nothing, never mind." He dismissively said as he undid his gloves and exited the ring. "I have to go." Without waiting for a response, he headed out, leaving behind a confused Rourke. ~•~•~•~ The next morning as per routine, Cillian sat across from his therapist, Clara. He’d been coming here for years ever since the death of his parents, undergoing therapy for the trauma he has suffered. As usual, Clara asked the same questions, however, towards the end of their session, she suddenly asked. "And...have you tried accepting Bellatrix?" The question caught Cillian off guard. Although it didn't show, his brows furrowed. "What?" "Have you tried accepting Bellatrix, your wife," Clara repeated quietly. "Maybe the path to healing is through learning to love her, to be at peace with your current situation.” Cillian's lips part, he was about to answer, but at the very last second, he stopped. He couldn't bring himself to answer. If thought he knew the answer, voicing it out didn't seem to settle well with Cillian. So, he chose to remain silent. A few minutes later, the session ended and as he stepped out, his mind was still much of a mess, the same way it had been the day before. A frown marred his handsome face. He needed to fix this...to get Bellatrix out of his mind. ~•~•~•~ Cillian wasn't sure how long had passed or how he had gotten here, but he awoke in a familiar bed, the scent of jasmine clinging to the sheets. Beside him, he felt the sheets rustle and shortly after, Regina lay against him, her lips brushing his shoulder. “Are you sure you're okay, Cillian?” she asked, her hand sliding down his chest. "You look so stressed. Do you want me to help you...relax?" Cillian felt her fingers travel lower as she asked, toying towards the buckle of his belt. But, at the very last moment, when her fingers were about to undo it, he stopped her and stood up, earning a look of confusion from Regina. "What?" She began, her lips parted in a question. "Have I suddenly done something wrong?" In the dimly lit room, Cillian's expression was a bit complicated, much like the feelings he was having now. However, he shook his head. "No, that's not the reason. For now, I believe we shouldn't do these things, after all, I'm not divorced yet." Regina felt a scoff threatening to escape her lips, but she kept it at bay. Not divorced yet? Was this some sort of excuse? When did Cillian ever care about these things? Clenching her fists, she pushed down the anger and said in an innocent tone. "I see, I was too forward. Forgive me." "It's alright," Cillian said as he gently pushed her down on the bed. "You're still a bit weak, so, for now, rest." With a heavy heart, Regina complied. She didn't say another word, but inside, her thoughts were raging and her fist clenched the sheets tightly. Just he wait, soon enough he wouldn't be able to reject her. Bellatrix would soon be out of the picture and she'd have him all to herself!