Chapter 41

"No," I murmur and he looks up at me confused.  "You don't?"  "No," I repeat and I see the hurt in his eyes clearly. "I don't want to try. I want to be me so I don't want to try. I like you, Alec and no matter much I try to ignore it, you hurt me. I wanted a soulmate just as much as anyone wants one. I saw you and I was happy. I was going to be okay. That's what soulmates do. Make each other okay. You didn't do it," I tell him gently and he looks devastated, "I tried really hard to push my feelings away. I knew you were with Anna and I knew I wasn't the type of person to go for someone else. I would wait for you. Forever if I had too, but I'm at a stage where I don't think I can wait or try anymore. I don't want anything from you." I pull my hand away from him. "I know I marked you but I don't hold you to any responsibility. I want you to live your life, Alec and I want to heal myself. I don't think I am ready to be with you. I can't give you what you want and