  18
      I was sitting outside on the bleachers by myself at lunch—when Zac came over to me. He didn't say anything. He walked up the bleachers and sat down beside me, silently.
      After a moment, he spoke quietly. &quot;It's cold outside, you shouldn't sit here. You're going to get sick.&quot; He took off his coat and placed it over my shoulders.
      I looked at him flatly. &quot;I don't care if I get sick, Zac.&quot;
      &quot;I do.&quot; He just looked at me. Both his gaze and voice were gentle.
      I ran a hand down my face sighed. &quot;I'm—I'm sorry I lost it this morning.&quot;
      Zac shook his head frantically, his eyebrows pulling together. &quot;You have nothing to be sorry about, Bloom. I'm the one who—well, I apologize for Shane being a dumbass.&quot;
      &quot;He didn't know.&quot; I shrugged. &quot;Not his fault. It's not anyones—I just don't like my birthda

  19
      I thought everything was okay—but now I was so sure.
      The only thing I could think about was Zac.
      Sitting through all my classes—I couldn't focus or pay attention. I was lost in my head, thinking about him. Jade and Bea would be speaking to me but I wouldn't catch a single word they said—I was too busy thinking about him.
      Everything about him—the way one loose curl of his hair would always fall on his forehead, his chocolate brown eyes that looked more like honey when light hit them, the intoxicating sound of his laugh, the way he would become cold, his jaw would clench when he was mad or annoyed, the way he called me Bloom as if it were my real name, how he would call me 'love' without even noticing it, whenever we texted and he would annoyingly only respond with pictures of gifs of jasmine flowers or animated princess Jasmine—completely ignoring what it was 

  19
      Things had been oddly good lately.
      Evan and I are good—although I still want to know what the deal with him and Zac is. I don't bring it up anymore because I know he won't tell me. It's easier to let it go rather than cause another fight. Although, I can't help but still be curious about it. Every time I'm with Evan, I feel more on edge and I notice myself paying closer attention to the things he says, or the way he reacts. I try to find hints—but there is never anything.
      Zac and I remain close. I think we're close. We study after school and he's getting better at chemistry. Our study session usually end with us watching an episode or two of Breaking Bad. Zac comments on everything, and spends much of his time throwing food at me.
      &quot;Happy birthday, Hun.&quot;
      I was sitting at the kitchen island, scrolling on my phone. My dad walked into the kitchen,

18
      I was sitting outside on the bleachers by myself at lunch—when Zac came over to me. He didn't say anything. He walked up the bleachers and sat down beside me, silently.
      After a moment, he spoke quietly. &quot;It's cold outside, you shouldn't sit here. You're going to get sick.&quot; He took off his coat and placed it over my shoulders.
      I looked at him flatly. &quot;I don't care if I get sick, Zac.&quot;
      &quot;I do.&quot; He just looked at me. Both his gaze and voice were gentle.
      I ran a hand down my face sighed. &quot;I'm—I'm sorry I lost it this morning.&quot;
      Zac shook his head frantically, his eyebrows pulling together. &quot;You have nothing to be sorry about, Bloom. I'm the one who—well, I apologize for Shane being a dumbass.&quot;
      &quot;He didn't know.&quot; I shrugged. &quot;Not his fault. It's not anyones—I just don't like my birthday.&quot;
      Zac turned to look out at the empty field. &quot;I hate Christmas.&quot; I look

Chapter 18