Chapter 165

I’m not scheduled to lead a class this evening, but I head to the center anyway. There will be company and warmth and far less temptation to drink until I hit oblivion. Sanjay drops me off a block away because I want to walk off some of my emotion. He’s his usual chatty self, and I don’t think he notices anything off about me at all, but then, I am a master at this. At hiding my pain. I’m so good I could give a damn TED Talk on the subject. Listening to Drake go over the divorce details was hard enough, but what followed almost destroyed me. All these years, I’ve kept that night from Elijah. I needed to protect him from the awful things his mother said to me, no matter how dearly it cost me. The way he stared at me, rejecting what I was saying after he forced me to confide in him—it was a heavy blow. Part of me understands his disbelief, but I’m so sick of being second best. Sick of knowing that his instincts will always keep him loyal to his family and not to me—his wife. Well, I won’