Chapter 133

We’re back home and in our perfectly decorated living room. This house has several rooms for entertaining where Amber and I have hosted dinners, charity events, and parties over the years. It’s also big enough that we have our own space, allowing us to coexist in distant harmony. Tonight, though, we’re sitting together—sitting together as we discuss how to be apart. She’s on one couch, I’m on another, and I fucking hate everything about this whole setup. I want to drag her into my arms and kiss her so hard she can’t breathe. I want to tell her how much I love her, how much I want this marriage to work. How much I need her. “So, are you thinking a separation first or straight to divorce?” I say instead in a calm, steady voice, needing to keep a grip on my emotions because I can tell that she’s barely holding it together. She’s curled up with her legs underneath her, dressed in her silk pajamas with a blanket over her lap, her hair towel-dried and shaggy against her shoulders. She looks