Chapter 16

Edwin said I had to speak aloud the things I didn't want to remember and the people I didn't want to mention. Not only that, I had to recall the beautiful past that now stood in cruel contrast to my present. He explained that only then could I cut away the rotting flesh in my wounds with my own hands and let new, living tissue grow. It sounded very brutal, but I still chose to undergo the treatment. I didn't want to turn myself into a broken, suffering madwoman for the rest of my life just because of a failed marriage. Of course, psychological counseling was a gradual process. Edwin didn't expect me to unload every memory I had with Steve all at once. After the first session, he prescribed me some anti-anxiety and antidepressant medication and told me to take them regularly. He also suggested that Steve and I should choose a proper burial site for our child and lay her ashes to rest in the ground. This wasn't just about respecting the child. It was also about giving myself closure