Chapter 2

The line went quiet for several seconds. "Are you serious? You used to love your husband so much and gave up so many opportunities for him, so how could you just suddenly…" Sabrina smiled and shook her head. "I don't love him anymore." After hanging up, she leaned against the car window and closed her eyes. For years, everyone knew she loved Nester to the point where she lost herself, and until she deemed herself small and invisible, but she was tired now. Loving a man whose heart would always belong to another woman was too exhausting. As an 18-year-old freshman, she first saw Nester at her college's freshman awards ceremony. The sun was bright that day. He stood on stage in a simple white shirt and black pants, radiant, untouchable, and as the golden boy of the school. Nearly every female student in the audience blushed, and Sabrina was no exception. Still, no one had ever had the chance to get close to him because everyone knew that he only had eyes for Della, the childhood sweetheart he had grown up with. Della was spoiled, dramatic, and temperamental, but Nester doted on her and indulged her. Everyone said he loved her to death. For every second he spent loving Della, Sabrina spent loving him in the shadows, until Della stood him up at their wedding again and again. On the first wedding, she claimed she was too young and not ready to be tied down by marriage. On the second, she blamed it on pre-wedding jitters, and on the third, she said she wasn't sure he loved her enough. … On the eve of the ninth wedding, Della called Nester from abroad. "I've thought it over and still feel that freedom matters more, Nester. Shall we not get married for now? I'll stay abroad and travel for a few years." That time, Nester didn't run after her. He sank into a slump for some time, then began accepting the blind dates his family arranged, one after another, but never made any progress beyond the first meeting. When Sabrina heard, her heart raced wildly. She pulled every string she could and managed to secure a chance to be set up with him. That day, as if possessed, she wore a dress identical to Della's. Nester froze the moment he saw Sabrina, just as she had expected. He stared at her for a long time, then finally said, "Let's get married." Sabrina's frantically beating heart sank in that instant. She knew that he was seeing someone else through her, despite looking at her. Still, she nodded because she loved him so much that she wanted to stay by his side, even if his feelings were never meant for her. After marriage, they treated each other with distant respect. Nester treated her well. He was financially generous and gave her all the respect she deserved, but Sabrina knew that wasn't love. He never initiated physical contact, but when she dressed like Della, he would lose himself, hold her close, and murmur, "Della." Every time, she pretended not to hear. … Five years elapsed. Just when Sabrina thought life could go on this way, Della returned. Sabrina was three months pregnant then. One day, her stomach hurt terribly. When she clutched her belly and reached for her phone to call an ambulance, Della showed up at her door. "So you're Sabrina Fyre? I heard you took my place while I was gone," Della said, sizing her from head to toe with open disdain. Sabrina's face was pale from the pain. She had no strength to argue, and all she wanted was to get to the hospital. She tried to move past Della, who blocked her way. In the scuffle, Sabrina couldn't bear it any longer and shoved Della away. The latter stumbled back and hit her head on the doorframe before blood immediately started streaming. That night, Nester locked Sabrina in a dark room. Her stomach hurt unbearably, almost like a blade was twisting inside her. She pounded on the door and cried out over and over again, "Nester… Save me… The baby… Our baby…" Still, no one showed up for her. As she curled up on the floor in agony, warm liquid flowed from between her legs. She reached down, and her hands came back covered in blood. Eventually, she passed out from the pain. When she woke up, she was in a hospital, and the baby was gone. Nester stood by the bed and looked at her with guilt in his eyes. "This is all my fault. After you're discharged, we can try for another baby. "If you hadn't pushed Della, I wouldn't have locked you up. She has a blood-clotting disorder, so that push nearly killed her, and I panicked. "I can make up for it…" Sabrina had laughed then, until tears streamed down her face. "Nester, do you think there's any compensation that can make up for a lost life?" That was the first and last time she cried in front of him, and from then on, she changed. She quietly filed for divorce and applied for an overseas posting at her company. To Sabrina, what happened between him and Della didn't matter anymore—because she no longer loved him.