Chapter 14: A Heart's Confession

The cab slowly turned onto 82nd Street and parked directly in front of the Cricket Shoppe, a little gem of a family restaurant in the midst of downtown. I stood outside the store front, hearing the bustle of coffee goers and diners in the open patio behind me. I watched each car go by, preparing myself for Leon's arrival. The last time I had seen him, we had just finished a spontaneous makeout session; I wasn't entirely sure how today would go, and being around him and his Blood Perfume all day…well, it was a recipe for disaster. Just then, a blue Jeep pulled up to the curb and honked the horn at me. When I looked, the driver let the top fall down and inside sat a man donning a white button-down. The first top three were left open, exposing a small amount of chest hair, and the hair on his head was neatly combed and styled. He wore sunglasses, and I wouldn't have recognized him if it weren't for that ever-clear smile. "Ready?" Leon asked. I slowly nodded and opened the car door to his Jeep. When he said a car was picking me up, I didn't expect him to be the driver and the car to be so…normal. He chuckled as I did up my seatbelt in the passenger seat. The Blood Perfume hit me quicker than ever; I could sense it anywhere. "You're impressed." It wasn't a question but a statement. "A little," I answered as he pulled away and into traffic. "It just doesn't really seem like…" "Top award-winning chef, Leon Knightly's vehicle?" At this, I laughed with him and the tension and fears I had experienced seconds before slowly vanished. "Yeah, I guess so." "Nah, you're right. It's more former poor child who saved every dollar he earned to get his dream car as a teenager, Leon Knightly." "Poor?" I questioned. "But you're…" "A Knightly. I know. But a mistake Knightly, raised by a woman who cared more about life than wealth." Wow, that's something you would never hear from online search engines or magazines. It was real and raw, and I respected him even more for it. Leon smiled to himself—he heard everything I thought. "Can you maybe stop doing that?" I asked. "Stop what?" he said, turning his gaze quickly to me and then back to the road again. "Oh, yeah. Sorry. It's a habit." "Is it voluntary?" "Yes and no—there are some I can't read just because they have a mental block of sorts. I've never really figured that one out. But most of the time, I do it if I'm unsure of a situation or someone. The only time it's ever involuntary is if I'm nervous or afraid." I didn't press any further. I didn't want to know which he was right now: unsure or nervous. I found both equally unsettling. And when I looked over to see his expression and gauge on whether he was still listening, I only saw him staring ahead, paying attention to the route that would take us to our destination. ** When the elevator doors to the top floor of Chef's Corner opened, I was astounded. The entire store had been cleared of customers in advance, and it donned on me at that moment that the power of money was beyond my imagination. The wonderful music and intoxicating incense flooded my senses along with Leon's scent. A glass chandelier hung from the ceiling, and the sound of men's shoes clicking on dark brown marble floors echoed through the empty store. The environment here was next level, and all I could do was stare. Suddenly, I felt a hand touch the base of my back. "Go take a look around," Leon stated. "See what you like. There's a tailor in the back, so don't worry about fit too much." He waved his hand, gesturing at the items lining the walls and shelves. It felt as if the entire store had become his personal property, and regardless of my aversion to such frivolities, I couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of excitement for a new chef's jacket. Leon watched every jacket I changed into and asked the clerk to take notes. His eyes concentrated on me as he sat behind the multiple mirror podium and watched the tailor take measurements. A few times, he caught my gaze in the reflection, and I could feel a slight blush rise up. No, I needed to suppress this. This couldn't happen. I was meant to be bondless. After the tailor and clerk said their goodbyes and provided Leon with an estimated time of arrival, we grabbed our things and exited the store. I began to walk toward Leon's car, when he reached out to stop me. "I'm a little thirsty. Mind if we make a pitstop? I know a good café here." My head was screaming this was a bad idea. I had been inhaling his smell all day, and I knew he had been scenting mine. We needed to separate before anything else happened. But instead, I classically replied with: "Sure. Where is it?" Leon smiled slightly and gestured for me to follow him. "Come with me." The walk to the café was relatively short, about four city blocks, but with Leon, his Blood Perfume, and the relenting silence we were facing, it felt like way longer. Although no matter how out of place I felt and how unsure of my emotions I was, I had to admit, today changed my opinion of him. He was not insensitive, mean, or unreasonable. Though he could be really picky, deep down, he was soft-hearted, and honestly, someone any Kindred would be happy to call their mate. I just wasn't sure if that Kindred was me. We walked into the café and took a seat near the window. When the server approached us, Leon ordered himself a coffee and a latte for me. Not long later, the server returned with our items and placed them down in front of us before leaving us alone once more. Neither of us said anything as we took our first sips. This was beyond weird. All I needed to do was get past this, do the event, and then I would never have to see them again. I could move on with life, and return to how things used to be. Alone and in hibernation. I glanced out the window and watched as the citizens passed by, all consumed in their own worlds, as I took another drink of my latte. "Something bothering you?" Leon's voice grabbed a hold of my attention, and I turned my gaze to him, setting my mug down. "Who, me? No." Leon eyed me as he slowly brought his mug to his lips. "Yes, there is," he continued as he set it in front of him. "You've barely said anything to me today, and you've been very quiet. You're avoiding me." "I'm not avoiding you. I just feel a little tired." "Oh, is that so?" "Positive," I replied. Leon waited a moment, probably seeing if I would say something. But when I didn't, he sighed and took another drink. There it was. His expression changed again, and this time, it was replaced by the same cold look I had witnessed the first day I met him. The one telling me he had shut down. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything at all. I looked anywhere but at Leon as I finished my drink. I could see him becoming restless; his fingers lightly drummed on the table. Then, out of nowhere, he looked me dead in the eyes and spoke. "When are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?" I coughed on the last gulp of my latte. "Pardon?" "Yesterday. In my office. I've known you, what, two days and now I'm experiencing all of these emotions that I can't explain. That I won't explain." So, I was right. He did feel the same pull. "Leon…" I started. "I–I don't think now is the right time to talk about this." His gaze softened. "Now is the only time, Vicky." He was right—once we left each other today, I'd return to work and be his employee, and he'd return to being the head chef with an ever-interrupting fiancée. But it wasn't the appropriate time to pull him into everything else that came with discussing the connection we felt; the electricity. So for now, it was better to push it off. "It was just a kiss," I whispered, knowing damn well that was a lie. "There's really nothing to talk about." At this, his eyes widened slightly and then darkened. "Are you saying I should pretend that nothing happened?" I nodded. "As you said, we're both grown-ups. It doesn't hurt to fool around sometimes. And that's what this was—fooling around." I could feel the pain in my chest increasing with each word—like the strands between our souls were ripping apart thread by thread. I closed my mouth and elongated my fang to nip at the inside of my mouth and keep myself from showing any emotion or thinking of anything else. I watched his eyes for any sign that he was using his abilities; but instead, he just picked up his mug and drank the remainder of his coffee before slapping down a bill and standing. "Finish your drink. I'll bring the car over and drive you home. I need a minute." And with that, he was gone. *** When I arrived home later that day, I closed the front door behind me and fell against it. Finally, I was free to let my emotions tumble out, and did they ever. I cried, and my body shook. I hadn't felt pain this unbearable since…since Jacob, and I just couldn't hold it in. This was it. Despite my best efforts, I had fallen. But I couldn't let Leon become a part of this world. If the Blood Hunters and Predators were after him or any other humans, I couldn't risk him becoming involved in this, and it utterly destroyed me. He could never know of the bond or who I truly was. It just wasn't an option. So I would pretend and push him away because having him alive and hating me was better than losing him to something bigger. I don't know if I could do it again. These were the last thoughts I remembered before finally drifting to sleep on the entranceway runner. *** "Vicky....Vicky....Victoria!" I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My young face gradually matured. My skin was snow-white, and my lips were scarlet red to match my eyes. The enlargened moon was hanging high in the sky. I pushed open the door of a castle room and walked down the hall to a grand staircase. The soldiers under me were enjoying a feast of human flesh. The entire world seemed to be dyed red with blood. I descended the stairs into the King's palace. At the head of the table sat the King, who was holding a long sword and looking at me in despair. Behind him, his wife's body lay on the ground; she had already been personally executed by him, and there was no saving her. I rushed to her lifeless frame and knelt beside her. Tears stained my cheeks as I looked at the grimy, blood-covered King. His eyes were as dark as the night sky. "Victoria, you fucking monster! Do you have any idea how many lives you've claimed?! She is dead because of YOU and your KIND!" "This is YOUR doing!" I screamed at him. "My Queen…please. Please wake up." My hands trembled as they ran over her body, and my eyes landed on her neck, where I had accidentally bitten her. "If you didn't bite her, she wouldn't have had to die! I curse you!" the King yelled out as the room cheered. "You will live in hell forever! Let the flames of the inferno cleanse your soul!" I couldn't think straight. All I knew was that my Queen was gone, and left in her stead was this…monster. My gaze narrowed, entirely full of hate. "How can you call yourself just?" I sneered. "You talk about God and pity every day. But do you really care about if your people live or die?" "Of course I do! It was YOU who destroyed the country I was trying to protect!" I couldn't listen to him anymore. In one fell swoop, I stood and unsheathed my sword. In response, the King raised his and swiped at me. I easily dodged it, and when I saw my opening, I grabbed his throat and pinned him to the throne. "God sees all and might be courteous enough to pardon you—but me? I'm not." With a crack, I snapped his neck and decapitated him. Blood gushed out, but it only made me sick. I pushed his body aside and sat numbly on the throne. My pale face was dyed red with blood. I didn't take endless pleasure in my revenge as I thought I would. There was only emptiness. No matter how many people I killed, it couldn't be changed. And this was the moment that the numbness seeped in and took over the remainder of any passion or empathy I had left. Months flashed by in a haze, and before I knew it, I sat at the same mirror, staring at my fading complexion. Slowly, the door of the main hall was opened again, and my hand, Baden Lazare, entered. He was carrying something. "Your Majesty..." he began. "We found him. He's still breathing..." My chest swelled, and tears brimmed my eyes. I followed them down the hall to the medical room and walked up to the man laying on one of the beds. I gradually regained my senses. When I took a closer look at the broken and beaten body, I realized that it was Jacob. "We'll take our leave now," Baden noted. He bowed and then exited, leaving Jacob and I alone. I walked closer and studied my lover. His eyes had been gouged out and his hands and legs had been broken by the Saint Marks. Jacob was dying. It cut at my heart to see him like this. "Jacob…" I whispered, running a hand through his hair. "It's me, your Victoria. We're home. Don't be afraid..." I sobbed as I stroked his scarred cheek. Jacob opened his mouth as if to speak, but all that came out was a whimper. I knew what I needed to do. I bit open my wrist and placed it against his mouth. Before long, I could feel his mouth hungrily sucking at the blood. It felt heavily. Blood-red moonlight shone on us and almost instantly, after pulling my arm back, Jacob's wounds began to heal and his limbs grew back. Realizing what was happening, I rushed to remove the bandages from around his eyes to find two brown ones staring back at me. Jacob smiled and I could feel the connection strengthening between us. He was my mate, and now I was his.