Chapter 4.

NORA CARUSO My eyelids fluttered open, and my head pounded. I stared at a ceiling I'd never seen before. My senses heightened, and I sat up immediately, staring at my reflection in the mirror.  My wide, horrified reflection stared back at me. My hair was wild, my face was pale, and my mascara smudged beneath my eyes.  A jolt shot through me this was not my room and definitely not my bed. I pushed myself up on trembling elbows, the sheet pooling around my waist. The movement caused a wave of nausea, and I turned my head, my breath catching in my throat. I noticed there was a man beside me sleeping naked. The air left my lungs, my heart hammered against my ribs. I looked down at myself, I was also naked and then I saw a dried, milky trail on my inner thigh. A scream tore from my throat, I scrambled backward, I kicked free of the sheet, my body trembling violently as I crouched on the floor, my arms wrapping around myself in a futile attempt to cover my nakedness. The man stirred at the sound, groaning softly. He rolled over, the muscles of his back flexing. He ran a hand through his disheveled hair before pushing himself up. Our eyes met. Time stopped.  The air solidified in my lungs.  The roaring in my ears drowned out everything but the horrifying beat of my own heart. I stared at Nikolai Volkov, my knees buckled and I slumped fully to the floor. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think.  This wasn't happening.  This was a poison-induced nightmare. "What the hell?" His voice was rough with sleep as he fully noticed me. I forced myself to move, scrambling on my hands and knees, my vision still blurry. My clothes were discarded, and I snatched them up, fumbling with them. Still couldn’t believe I had lay naked with the same man I warned Renata against.  "Nora?" he called confused.  I didn't look at him, I couldn't. I yanked the dress over my head, not caring about the twist of the fabric or the missing underwear I couldn't find. I just needed to be covered, I needed to be gone. "What is this?" "You," I spat, the word trembling. "You did this." His brow furrowed. "Did what? How the hell are you in my room!" "Who knows better than you! It makes perfect sense!" I shot back, my voice shaking uncontrollably. "You promised me, remember? You promised to destroy my life. Is this it? Is this one of your games?" I found my phone and grabbed it. "Listen to me carefully. No one! No one can ever find out about this. Whatever... whatever shit happened here last night, it dies in this room. You will never speak of it. You will forget my name. You will forget I was ever here." He just stared at me for once seemingly at a loss for words. Without waiting for a response I knew would never come, I turned and fled.  I ran down the staircase and out through a grand front door, the morning air hit me like a slap. I fumbled with my phone and the screen lit up I had twenty-seven missed calls from Renata, fifteen unread messages from her, five missed calls from Dad, and three from Mom I couldn’t stop the sob that broke out of my mouth. How? How? The last thing I remembered was drinking and trying to use the restroom, how did I end up in a room with Nikolai?  I stopped a cab that took me back home and all I could do was stare out the window, still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I just had sex with Nikolai. How could I ever face Renata? How could I look into her warm, trusting eyes and know I had willingly or not slept with the man she almost married, the man I had asked her to stay away from? The cab pulled up to our family's house, I came down from the car and stepped into the house, the moment I stepped in I knew they were all waiting for me. "Nora! My God!" My mother's hand flew to her chest, her face pale with worry. My father stood up from his armchair, his eyes filled with relief and anger. "Where in God's name have you been? We've been worried sick! Do you have any idea what time it is?" But before I could even open my mouth to offer a feeble apology, I heard a scream.  "Nora!" Renata cried, rushing to me and grabbing my arms, her eyes searching my face. "Where were you? I looked for you for hours! I called everyone! I was about to call the hospitals!" Guilt gripped me immediately crushing my chest, making it hard to breathe. I could see the genuine, sleepless fear in her eyes. I felt so bad that I couldn’t let her touch me so I gently pulled away from her. "I'm... I'm so sorry," I whispered, my voice hoarse."I... I had too much to drink. I must have lost consciousness, I just woke up... I don't really remember..." "You scared me to death," she breathed, pulling me into a tight hug. I stood stiffly in her embrace, my arms at my sides, feeling like the worst kind of traitor. "I'm going to bed," I mumbled, pulling away from her. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't stand the touch of the person I'd betrayed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I didn't wait for their responses. I turned and walked, climbed the stairs to my room. I close the door behind me, leaning against it for a long moment, squeezing my eyes shut as if I could squeeze the memory from my mind. Then I went into the bathroom and locked the door too. I turned the shower on as hot as I could bear it, scrambling out of the dress and throwing it into the corner as if it were on fire. Under the shower I scrubbed. I scrubbed my skin trying to erase the touch of his hands, the evidence on my thigh. I cried then great heaving sobs that were swallowed by the sound of the rushing water. I slid down the tile wall and curled into a ball on the floor of the shower, letting the water pound against me, wishing it could wash away not just the physical remnants of the night but the guilt. When I was done, I wrapped myself up with a towel and went back to my room to see that Renata was there sitting on the edge of my bed, her hands clasped in her lap, her eyes filled with concern and worry. "Hey," she said softly. "Are you okay? Really?" I froze in the bathroom doorway, my grip on the towel tightening. "I'm fine, Ren. Just... humiliated and hungover." I forced a weak smile. "What happened?" she asked, her voice gentle, "After I lost you at the club? I've been replaying it all night this is all my fault. I never should have dragged you out, I should have taken better care of you." "No," I said, the word coming out too sharply. I softened my tone. "No, Renata, don't you dare blame yourself. It was my choice to drink too much, I just... I don't remember anything. I woke up in the lobby. I'm just embarrassed and I'm so sorry I scared you." She studied my face for a long moment, and I prayed my expression conveyed nothing but shame. Finally, she nodded, accepting the story. She stood up and crossed the room, pulling me into another hug. This time, I made myself hug her back. "I'm just glad you're safe," she whispered into my damp hair. Then she let me go and left, closing the door softly behind her. I stood rooted to the spot until I heard her footsteps fade down the hall. Then I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding, I know there was nothing I could do to delete what happened last night but I would bury the memory of Nikolai Volkov. He had promised to destroy my life but he would not destroy Renata's. I would make sure of it, this secret would be mine alone to bear.