59

GARETH I stand outside Kayden’s office, the buzz of students and distant chatter from down the hall a dull hum beneath the pounding in my own head. That white silent room I love so much is smudged with swishes of gray, and I want them to come off. My fingers twitch at my side, reluctant to knock. I can’t shake the thought that I’m about to walk into something I won’t be able to control. That’s what I’ve always liked and disliked about Kayden. The idea that he can strip my control and give me something is what I like. But now, it’s going to the side I dislike—where in this case, he might use the power he has over me to hurt me. The hallway is full of movement, but it feels like I’m the only one here, stuck in this moment, torn between turning away or stepping forward into whatever mess this will become. Finally, I knock. “Come in.” His voice, although muffled, is still deep and piercing, and my skin prickles. When we first started this unorthodox relationship, I was hoping I’d stop bein