Chapter 119

Sofia. We were back home. My family was safe. My brothers and parents were in their designated rooms. My babies were sleeping next door. My husbands lay next to me. And yet, I couldn’t sleep. Even with the warmth of Nadei’s arms wrapped around me, the steady rise and fall of his chest beneath my cheek, the soft hum of Nikolai’s breathing close by—I was still wide awake, staring at the ceiling, my mind spinning like a rollercoaster that refused to settle. It wasn’t fear keeping me up this time. It was guilt. The memory of Arsen’s lips against mine was burned into my mind, a brand I couldn’t scrub away no matter how much I wanted to. It had been fleeting, a moment of desperation, of shared pain. But it had happened. And I had let it. I squeezed my eyes shut, nausea curling in my stomach. They trusted me. They loved me. And I had kissed another man. It didn’t matter that it wasn’t planned. It didn’t matter that I had been drowning in fear, that I had felt like I was shattering into a mill