Chapter 51

Shit, I’m a wreck. All I want was a greasy cheeseburger the size of Uno’s butt and a supersize fries like his—but instead, I was sitting here in a Starbucks slurping down an iced latte like my life depended on it, eating something with healthy macros because McDonald’s wasn’t serving lunch for another fifteen minutes. Sofia and I had decided to eat lunch outside the school because I didn’t want to see Kate and Uno being sweet together, acting lovey dovey like they were really in love with each other. And the main reason we’re here was because I was planning to tell Sofia exactly about everything going on with me and Uno. There was still a part of my heart which hurt bad due to that day’s events. The walls, the resistance, I could feel it all breaking down, and I couldn’t let Uno in. I was bad news. I didn’t know how to be in a relationship. How the hell was I supposed to be Uno’s girlfriend? “What’s in to you?” Sofia asked, one perfectly shaped brow arched high on her forehead. My head bobbed as I sucked the straw. I licked my lips and shiver, pulling my hoodie tighter around my shoulders. “Winter is coming.” “Not yet, it’s only June.” She said. “So, have you seen Kate lately?” Suddenly, I realized I hadn’t seen that girl in ages. At least since the fight. “Where do you think she is? I haven’t seen her.” I asked back, sipping on my drink. “Honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care.” She shrugged, pulling her black beanie lower down on her forehead. “Maybe, she’s with Uno right now.” my voice sounded a bit hurt but Sofia didn’t notice. A minute of silence passed and I took a deep breath, readying myself to tell her everything. Including my newly discovered feelings. “Sof, listen. About me and Uno—“ I went on to tell her everything about us, carefully leaving the part about his family out of it. A good ten minutes later Sofia said, “I just have one question. “ “Okay.” “Python?” I sniggered and leaned back, grinning at her mischievously. I haven’t seen it yet but I had touched it through his pants, and oh boy it’s... “Python.” Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Soon, she cracked a smirk. “You’re a lucky ass bitch.” “I know.” I said laughing proudly and started to tell her about the things that was disturbing me. It felt really good to share things with someone. Especially to me, someone who hasn’t shared shit with anyone in my entire life. It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders. “So wait, do you feel like you love him now?” I spat out a little of water I was having and rapidly shook my head at her ridiculous question. Okay, maybe it wasn’t that ridiculous. Because maybe, it was the feeling that I really couldn’t determine. As what I’ve said before, I’ve never been in love with anyone. “No Sof, it’s just this new emotion. I can’t place it, you see.” She nodded thoughtfully. “I think I’m getting it. Before, you used to look at him as someone whom you could give your virginity but now, you’ve started to actually caring deeply for him. And there’s a chance you might fall for him.” “Exactly.” “But girl, if you’ll go on with this whole friends kissing and touching then I don’t know, you just might fall in love.” Sofia looked down, playing her straw on her coffee as a gloomy came over her face. Realization struck upon me and I gasped. “You love Jeno, don’t you?” She immediately looked at me and shook her head, chuckling nervously. “No way! I hate that asshole!” “You’re blushing, bitch!” I laughed at her teasing her more. “Ugh!” she groaned and dropped her head in her hands. Worry casted over me and I asked her curiously. “What’s wrong?” “I’m stupid, Ash. I do…I really love him. But, it’s one sided. He doesn’t love me back. He has many girls lined up for him and I’m nothing but a piece of ass to him. That’s how we began though. We weren’t supposed to be anything other than fuck buddies. That’s what under our agreement, but—“ she gulped and looked out of the window next to our table, her face expressionless. “They say you can’t help who you fall in love with.” I grabbed her palm on the table and squeezed it gently. “Tell him” She flickered her eyes up to mine and let out a soft laugh. “It’s not that simple. Jeno is not the kind of guy who believes in love. I was scared I might lose him if I tell him my true feelings. I don’t want it to happen, Ash. I just couldn’t.” Who knew the carefree, funny and beautiful Sofia was hurting so much? Imagine seeing the guy you loved flirts with so many different girls in front of you. I could only imagine how that would feel. Really, everyone wore a mask under which our souls seemed to be crying to the moon. “It hurts, Ash.” She whispered. “He has so many girls around him and I couldn’t flirt with any other guy. All I want is Jeno, only him. But why can’t he like me back?” “Sof, you need to do something. For how long are you going to keep hurting yourself like this? Either you tell him or let him go.” I told her as I squeezed her hand. “No, Ash.” She pulled her hand away from my grasp, shaking her head. “I can’t let him go.” “But Sofia—“ The buzzing of her phone cut me off. She held up a finger and picked out her phone from her bag. She checked the caller and mouthed “Liam.” “Hello, Liam?” she spoke. I watched her as a very rushed voice spoke to her on the phone. I saw Sofia’s expression morphed into that of shock. Worry filled me and I panicked. What was Liam telling her? I hope everything was fine. “What the hell? Okay, we’ll be right there.” She hung up and stared at me. “What?” “Kate’s in the hospital. We should go.”