Chapter 2

Heartbroken, I ask one last question, “Why can't you get rid of the baby?” Declan didn't dare look at me, “Natalia ...... she wanted to keep the baby.” “Once I had a biological child, she was afraid her child would have a reputation as a bastard.” I fell into a rage, and questioned him, aloud. “So, to save her reputation, my child deserves the reputation of being a bastard, right?” "We've been married for two years, Declan. Two years! And she's nothing but your secretary!" Declan grabbed my hand and apologized: “When she settles down, I'll tell everyone the truth.” I shrugged him off, "Let me guess, are you going to go public when she's done having babies and they're stable? How long would that take? A year? Two years? Or never that day?" "I'm sorry. But Natalia begged me and I couldn't just stand by." I smiled, “I see, the problem was never her, it was you.” I wiped away my tears, took a deep breath, and said, “Then get rid of my baby.” “No!” Declan's eyes instantly became terrifying and he said angrily, “I want both your and Natalia's children.” After saying that, he was afraid that I would say more and fled in a hurry. The next day, there were more than a dozen bodyguards around the house, and I was under house arrest. My cell phone was also confiscated, cutting off my contact with the outside world. I didn't understand why he would keep this child I was carrying that he didn't value if he had recognized Natalia's child. In this way, I was stuck with him for three months and the fetus stabilized. Whenever I tried to resist, or asked to see someone, they would stop me for various reasons. During this time, Declan still came every day, even if it was late. But every time I spoke to him, my heart ached as if cut by a knife. He looked resigned, as if he felt guilty for what happened to Natalia, without ever realizing how selfish he was being. He grew colder and colder towards me, his attitude gradually becoming indifferent. And I, gradually, lost the hope I once had. Every day I stayed in this room, facing the world outside that window, I looked at my growing belly, and my heart was full of complicated emotions. That child was once my only hope for the future, but now it has become a burden I cannot escape. I was often caught up in conflicting emotions about it. I sometimes thought: if I hadn't gotten pregnant, maybe everything wouldn't have become so embarrassing. Natalia’s baby, Declan’s choice, his hesitation and weakness, were too much for me to bear. But every time I think of that little unborn life, my heart feels like it's being hammered, and it hurts so much that I can't breathe. I felt hollow inside, yet there was an overwhelming emotion that I couldn't give up. That day Declan came to me with a tired face. I no longer expected anything to change about him; he was still wearing the same suit, his eyes full of hopelessness and anxiety. But when he saw me, his expression froze instantly and a flash of pain flashed under his eyes. “You know why I did it.” He spoke; his voice low. I smiled slightly, a little coldly, “Yeah, I know. You'd do anything for her. But can't you look at your wife and child? What the hell were you thinking?” Declan lowered his head as if he was once again in an unresolved dilemma. After a few moments of silence, he said, “I know you've been wronged. But you also understand that Natalia needs me the most right now.” He looked at me nervously, “Her parents pushed too hard, and she's in a complicated situation now, so I had to intervene. You don't blame me, do you?” I held back my anger and said coldly, “Blame you? I stopped counting on you a long time ago.” I paused, my eyes icy cold, “By doing this, you are hurting me, you are hurting the feelings we once had between us. I always thought that marriage was about two people facing difficulties and problems together, but now, I realize that I'm just a poser.” Declan bowed his head in silence, as if he was thinking deeply about my words. I knew he still held a sense of guilt and responsibility for Natalia, but his incompetence and weakness had long since killed me. My heart grew cold. That's when I remembered the promise he once made, “You won't leave me alone with everything, I'll walk with you.” But now, I realized that his vows were nothing but empty words, and that I never really existed in his world. A few days later, Declan started to become more frequent in my presence. Every time he saw me, he would feel a bit of a handful, as if he was making excuses for his decisions. I began to realize that what Declan really feared was not me, but his own conscience. He was afraid of losing Natalia, afraid of hurting her, even afraid of the reputation that child carried. I, on the other hand, had become a reality he couldn't escape. He knows I'm enduring, and he knows I'm suffering, but he still doesn't have the courage to stand up and make the decision he needs to make. I stood in front of the window, looking out at the grey sky, but without the slightest hope in my heart. Until one day, I stopped holding back and coldly asked him, “When exactly are you going to tell me about Natalia's baby? Are you going to let me live with this lie for the rest of my life?” A flicker of guilt flashed in Declan’s eyes, but he said nothing.