9 Where I wanted you to stay

SALIM I sat in the car stiffly, watching what was unfolding outside. I was usually never uneasy or nervous about anything. I had barely thought of her since the flight but seeing her again seemed to have had an effect on me. She didn't quite seem like the same person. I thought perhaps I was mixing up faces, I'd only after all seen her only once, but no I'd seen her so many times in my dreams that I knew she was definitely the one. She looked shabby, stained with oil and drenched in sweat. I thought hard about what to say to her, something that won't give away the fact that I was nervous over a mere woman like her. I finally opened the door and looked at her sincere, yet very confident face. At that moment I heard myself say, ''get in.'' Why did I ask her to get in? What would I tell her after she gets in? What do I do to her? She stood still; I saw a little look of surprise on her face that quickly vanished. I saw shame and recognition on her face, hard as she tried to cover it. Her friends came forward to try to protest but she stopped them. ‘‘Don’t worry, I know him,'' she said as she got in the car. I looked at her, how could she say that she knew me, just because we had sat on a plane together? She entered the car and I asked the driver to drive. She sat calmly besides me, fiddling with her veil and obviously trying hard not to meet my eyes. She was like a chameleon, one minute she was this confident, almost intimidating woman, and the other minute, a shy school girl. I stared at her intently wondering if she would ever say anything or at least look at me. I wanted to say so much, to ask her if she also saw me in her dreams, or if she thinks about me as much as I did her. Why she hadn't called me. Why she was stained in oil and drenched in sweat. ''I'm sorry; you can punish me if you want to. I'll pay for it,'' she faltered a little bit in her speech. "I'm so sorry". ‘‘Could you please stop saying sorry, it's annoying,'' I almost lost my temper for a second. She kept saying sorry, I wished she would say something other than those particular words. She looked at me for a second, blinked and turned her face away. ''I won't let you go scot-free, but before that, why didn't you call me?'' She looked at me and I felt a bit self-conscious. It seemed as if she was assessing me with her eyes. She turned her face away and said, ''I didn't think there was any need to,'' I was flustered by her reply, ''I had nothing to say to you.'' Who on earth did she think she was? She made me give her my complimentary card; only for her to sit beside me and tell me she had nothing to say to me. I stared at her with intense anger and surprise, I didn't know what to do or say to her. Women always had something to say to me. Women always wanted to be near me, to talk to me, to have my phone number. The arrogance this woman exuded shocked me to my bones, so much so that I was lost for words. ‘‘Uhm, Why are you staring? , can you tell me where you're taking me to? ,'' she looked at me waiting for an answer which I didn't have. We rode in silence. It was awkward and tense. We sttopped when I saw a restaurant, it was perfect. ‘‘Come out of the car,'' I said to her, she came out quietly and obediently and followed me into the restaurant. I found a table and sat down, she followed me, and composed herself in a seat in front of me and simply stared at me, with a look that asked a thousand questions, and said nothing. HADIZAT I was about to explode on the inside, I was freaking out and so embarrassed. I've had a crush on the rude guy ever since I met him, praying to see him again. I had finally met him again and I had managed to make a fool out of myself in front of him. He sat staring at me as I stared back at him trying not to lose composure. '' So,'' I barely managed to say. ''What would you like to eat?'' he asked without taking his eyes off the menu. How did he expect me to eat in a situation like that? If I had eaten anything at that moment, I would have thrown up and I didn't want to add anything to the list of embarrassing things I had done since I met him. '''Nothing, I'm not hungry, let's just talk,'' he ignored me and called on the waitress. '' Bottled water for me and orange juice for her,'' then he turned back to me, ''You like orange juice right?'' I nodded. A few minutes later, the waitress came back with the order. He took a sip and then looked at me, ''Drink your juice.'' Why was he messing with me? If he was going to shoot me, then why did he have to torture me first? I groaned inwardly. ''My friends are waiting for me; can you please just tell me what I have to do, so I can get going?'' I asked with fake confidence. He opened his mouth as if he was about to snap and reply me, he blinked and then asked, ‘‘Where do you stay?''. ''Where you picked me.'' He chuckled and smiled as if I had said something unbelievable and amusing. ''Ok, where do you work?'' I thought about what to say for a few seconds. I realized everything I had ever told him and was about to tell him were all a lie, and it hurt me. He was a stranger and I shouldn't feel so terrible about lying to him but I did. ''I’m a business woman. I sell palm oil at the market. Very fine palm oil''. It both shocked and amazed me how the lies flowed from my mouth. It was going to be had to keep up with all the lies, but it was what I needed to do. He smiled and then he froze, he looked at me. ‘‘You have got to be kidding me. You can't possibly be telling me the truth. You were on a first class plane, you had an American accent, and you told me it was your first time....'' ''I lied'' I interrupted him, ''I won a cooking competition and I was given an all expense week trip abroad, I'm sorry I lied, I never thought there would be any reason for you to find out the truth.'' He blinked, his face was emotionless, he smiled and then said, ''why would you lie to me, you barely knew me." ''I thought I would never have to see you again, I don't know, I'm sorry''. He looked at me with a look of disgust. I felt so unbelievably embarrassed; I couldn't look him in the face. He stood up, dropped some money on the table and started walking away. ‘‘Where are you going? We haven't finished talking,'' I stood up to stop him from leaving. Somehow I thought he would forgive me, and we'd start over again. I was naive. He suddenly stopped, ''I've always hated liars; I can't even believe I'm sitting at a restaurant with a liar and a palm oil seller. I never want to see or meet anyone like you again. I'm disgusted right now. I’m begging you don't ever show your face in front of me again.'' I felt a tear fighting hard not to fall. His words burned my heart; it was so embarrassing and hurtful. I watched him as he left in anger, got into his car and drove off. I sat down alone at the restaurant trying to figure out what had just happened. Was he angry because I had lied to him or because I told him I was an oil seller? Whatever it was, it wasn't reason enough for him to say those hurtful words to me. I sat frozen for a long time, replaying his words in my head when I saw his car drive back towards the restaurant. The car stopped but Salim didn't come out. His driver walked up to me and handed me a piece of paper, then left and they drove off again. I looked at the paper; ''Salim 08172662141 meet me here at four pm next Saturday.''