chapter 17

Abbie I don’t know how long I sit in the shower, letting the scalding water pour over me, but my skin feels raw, like it might peel off entirely if I scrub just a little harder. Maybe that’s the point. Maybe if I can scrub hard enough, I’ll wash away all the filth, all the memories. All of him. But no matter how hard I try, I can still feel Kade’s hands on me, still taste his vileness lingering in my mouth. It’s like he’s a stain that won’t come off—clinging to my skin, to my soul. I can’t get clean, no matter how many times I do this. No matter how hot the water is. No matter how raw my skin becomes. I’m tired. So damn tired of this fight. Every day, I wake hoping it’ll be different, hoping that I’ll feel… something other than his hands on me. Something other than this suffocating emptiness. But it’s always the same. The same memories. The same scars. The same shame. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t even know what I’m holding on for. Every time I catch my reflection, I see someo