#Chapter 130 Neil

I shouldn't be brooding. It was ridiculous to be brooding, and yet I was. Maya had been kind. Honest. There was nothing about her that made me want to hate her, and that—more than anything—stung the most. Because I wanted to. I wanted to resent her. To blame her. To wish her away so I could keep being furious about Tyler and everything he’d done. I wanted more people to blame for this whole situation, and yet I couldn't. It would have been nice if she had been involved, if she'd known this entire time. But she was right. I couldn’t hate her, couldn't blame her. She was thoughtful and decent and heartbreakingly honest, and she was hurting too. And somewhere, deep down, I hated that he had found someone good. He didn’t deserve her. You deserve someone like Vivian. I sank onto the bench in the shower, letting the water pour over me, trying to shut the thoughts off. But they kept swirling, relentless. What would’ve happened if Maya had come first? If farther back in the timelin