17

Aurora Second thoughts. A vile way in which your brain plants the seed so you’ll suspect everything you do. Last night, I was so sure I could take on Jonathan’s offer and unveil the truth behind Alicia’s death. Then he lay me on his lap, spanked me, and thrust his fingers into me. I orgasmed. I fucking orgasmed. Not being able to feel for such a long time has made me sure and even smug about my defectiveness. And yet, it happened. I felt. And it was in the most brutal way possible. Leaning back against my chair, I close my eyes and try not to think about his hand, his fingers and how, when I finally got off his lap, I stumbled and nearly fell to my face. Jonathan’s lips set in a line as he watched me with those steel eyes that I’m now sure know no emotions whatsoever. The man is a blank board. He’s a tyrant, and like any tyrant, only his benefit matters. ‘I expect you here when I return from work.’ His parting words kept playing on repeat at the back of my mind during the entire drive