  &quot;It was always real. I never lied to you. I never once played games with you. You had me even when I didn't want it to be so. You changed everything for me … and you ripped down all my defences until I was nothing. You made me love you, you complete fucking idiot, and then you destroyed me. I did nothing wrong. I never deserved that.&quot; I wail at him, in frustration, heartbreak and despair. Angry that it all comes down to this. That he thought I was playing him all that time. That his cruel wanker side was on the full offensive because he believed I was nothing more than a manipulating whore out to get his money, his power, or maybe just his heart, so I could become his puppeteer. Just a devious gold digger in his eyes who came with a bad reputation for being just that.
      He has no clue how wrong he was, how deep my feelings for him ran or how for the first time in my life 

  Alexi steps towards me and I step back. A clear signal I don't want him near me, and he relents. Stopping himself and moves away instead, to give me space, the flicker of pain evident as his eyes dip to avoid me for a second.
      A show of real emotion. Who knew he was capable of such things? Capable of showing me he is human after all.
      It just makes the ache grow, spreading from my stomach out to every limb and even my face trembles with the agony I'm feeling.
      &quot;You were always worthy. I just screwed everything up. I was scared, I was torn, I was lost in my own mistrust of you. Blinded by what I believed. I was protecting myself.&quot;
      He sounds how I feel. Like he knows that this is pointless, and the past is more than can be overcome.
      &quot;So, what changed?&quot; My voice cracks, face wet with my sadness, and I curl my arms around myself and try to giv

  &quot;What?&quot; Everything in me halts to some weird frozen moment, suspended in time and my manic panic calms instantly to surreal numbness. One questioning word jerked out of me in response to his statement.
      Standing in the lift facing him while he holds the doors wide, only feet apart and so close to escaping I can almost taste it.
      Tears stop and my body stills. I openly stare at him in complete shock. Brain stuttering on his words and unable to react whilst in a state of disbelief.
      I stop my noisy breakdown and hold very still, breath paused, emotion idling while I wait. The hysteria of a moment ago fades to this eerie silence between us as I pause for an explanation, an expansion of his sentence. Of a meaning to him saying the word love, to me, of all people.
      He can't love me. It makes no sense. He hates me. He hurts me, he always has.
      But he just t

&quot;It was always real. I never lied to you. I never once played games with you. You had me even when I didn't want it to be so. You changed everything for me … and you ripped down all my defences until I was nothing. You made me love you, you complete fucking idiot, and then you destroyed me. I did nothing wrong. I never deserved that.&quot; I wail at him, in frustration, heartbreak and despair. Angry that it all comes down to this. That he thought I was playing him all that time. That his cruel wanker side was on the full offensive because he believed I was nothing more than a manipulating whore out to get his money, his power, or maybe just his heart, so I could become his puppeteer. Just a devious gold digger in his eyes who came with a bad reputation for being just that.
      He has no clue how wrong he was, how deep my feelings for him ran or how for the first time in my life I tried to be someone else. Someone who could hold her head a little higher. I wanted to be better th

Chapter 70