#Chapter 29 I don't want to hurt you

Alyson's POV I slept in my own room. I wasn't sure why I'd become so withdrawn and strange with Ryan ever since being kidnapped like I'd regressed, but he also seemed strange to me. I longed to get back to where we were before I was kidnapped, but I also found myself more scared of intimacy and trust again. Ryan didn't say anything, he was too tired to notice maybe. I wanted him to invite me, I had slept in his room the night before when I was taking care of him, but it felt different now that he was better. I wasn't sure what was wrong with us. Why couldn't we be stable for more than a few days? Telling him that I loved him seemed like another's memory. I even told him that I wanted to be with him forever. But at the first scent of danger, I'd withdrawn to some dark space inside of myself where I wasn't sure I could love, or trust, and I didn't want to be vulnerable. Dylan, Ryan and I rose early to travel up into the mo