Chapter 54

El"s point of view I'm not angry with Jas; I just lack the courage to continue to face him. I'm not upset; instead, I'm envious. I understand I have no right to be envy if he wanted to show his appreciation for Baki, but that is how I feel. I'm not sure how to conceal my emotions, and this is the first time I've treated him like this. I know he's curious, and I know he's puzzled by my behavior, but I can't force myself to be okay. It also, too, will pass; I'll be well, but not right now. I didn't get a chance to speak with Jas before he went. I wonder why I have the impression that he meant what he done previously. I'm not sure how it came to mind, but I get the impression that Jas made the banner to make me jealous, and if that's the case, I'm not sure why he did it. Does he like me? Was he envious of the effort I was putting in for Ivan? I shouldn't be thinking that because I don't have any proof,