Chapter 2

But I managed and closed the door behind me. It took three seconds before I heard moaning coming from behind the door. I felt tears start to gather behind my eyes and sighed deeply. Sometimes I wondered if I really meant that little to him. The rest of the day I spent doing my chores. I guess it was a good day considering no one laid a hand on me. Except Bonnie her slap of course. Ryder did hurt me psychically in the past. But ever since he figured out we were mates he never laid his hands on me with the purpose of hurting me. But he didn't stop the abuse though. That was almost two years ago. I am now almost eighteen. I have long black hair and the palest blue eyes on the planet. I hated them. Some of the pack members used to make fun of me because of my eye color. Saying they looked death. It was around midnight when I finally entered my room. It was a small room in the attic. It had a small ensuite bathroom with a shower, toilet and sink. My bedroom consisted of an old mattress, a pillow and two blankets. I had a small desk, a closet and a shelf with fourteen books on them. I loved reading. Only being allowed to go to school until I was thirteen, I wasn't that highly educated but thanks to those books I knew an extra thing or two. Just as was about to crawl into my bed I heard my bedroom door crack open. Without a word Ryder closed to door and crawled into bed with me. He wrapped his arms around me. I don't know if he knew that he reeked of sex. "Sorry," he whispered, kissing my neck. And just like that I forgave him. It always went like this. He would come up to my room after he was sure everyone else was asleep. Even after he had shared his bed with other women he would still come up to my room. Sometimes he didn't even to shower before coming. He would reek of sex with other girls and still hold me. I wondered if he did that on purpose? If he did that just so he could torture me. The first time he did that was the same day he discovered we were mates. He just told me he accepted me and before I knew it I felt a piercing pain shoot through my heart. I was cooking dinner at that time. Because of the pain I had dropped a plate. Making it shatter all over the floor. One of my pack mates had then pushed me into the pieces of glass. Screaming at me how worthless I was, how I did nothing right. I still had a few scars to prove it. And I guess I then realized that my mate would never really see me as his mate. I was just the worthless omega. But I never really understood why he didn't just reject me. I was so angry. Did he really hate me that much that he would do something this cruel? I made the mistake of asking him that that night. He had just come up to my room for the first time. His shirt half unbuttoned, showing his perfectly tanned skin. His brown curls were messy, as if he had just come out of bed. Much to my horrible realization he really had just come out of bed. I could smell Bonnie on him. "Alpha, what are you doing here?" I asked, bowing my head. He didn't answer me and walked up to me. He just smashed his lips on mine and hugged me tight to him. "I'm so sorry, Pamelia," said and looked my in the eyes. That was the first time he said my name. My heart fluttered as those words left his lips and I melted. All my anger vanishing. I could see he meant it. He really was sorry. So I decided to ask him. "Why did you sleep with Bonnie right after you accepted me? Did you change your mind?" I looked his straight in the eye while asking. He froze and his eyes hardend. "No, I did not change my mind. You are mine! And I am your Alpha! You wil speak to me with respect!" I bowed down my head in submission instantly. I really didn't want to get another beating when my arms and hands were still hurting from the cuts. Ryder sighed and gently laid us down on the bed. "You're my mate," he said, planting little kisses from mouth to my collarbone. "You will always be my mate." That was the moment I realized I loved him. Was I a masochist for loving someone who had hurt me many times? Well then, I guess I was. I fell asleep in his arms. His arms felt like my own personal heaven.