Chapter 4

You know, the feeling you get when you are invited to a wedding of people you don't really know, but are forced to go to out of courtesy, just like they were forced to invite you out of courtesy; yeah, that's how I'm feeling too. ***** Bruce and I decided to go together since neither of us had a date. The engagement was at alpha Blake's house (It's not a house though; a mansion would be the safe word), it was more like a casual get together in their lawn. The pack house where all the pack activities take place was a few yards from the mansion. We spotted the others sitting at our table; Daisy had informed the planner beforehand that we were not to be separated. I greeted Luna Alexandra on my way; she hugged me and asked me to come by for breakfast tomorrow. I bet she has months of gossips stored up, I love talking to her. *** A strange feeling occurred to me as I sat down with my back to the center stage. It was as if something very important in my life was passing by, I only had to turn and look at it and everything would fall in place. Something inside me was begging me to look. My wolf woke up in attention, focusing on the only other heart that matched the rhythm of her heart. Mate. The realization took my breath away. My heart beat was picking up its pace and I could feel my body warming up, I was shaking. I closed my eyes. Breathe in. Breathe out. I opened my eyes slowly. He wasn't there, not in my line of vision. I relaxed, letting out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I smiled at Aylin; she was going on about something. Should I stop her and tell them? My mind was, at this point, blank. I was trying to kill time. "They're here" Bruce whispered to me. Huh? I realized, everyone was looking somewhere behind me. Oh, the engagement, Dennis and Flora. I turned, scanning every face along the way, until my eyes stopped at him. ***** "Esther, are you awake, baby" Mom? I blinked twice; she was sitting by me, worried? I looked around; I was in the pack hospital. No, I didn't have the luxury to forget, I remember. "I'm fine, mom" "How can you be fine, you fainted, young lady" My father reprimanded me. I didn't have the energy to talk "I just need some sleep dad, I couldn't sleep well last night. Can I go home?" I begged him. "No, I have to run some tests on you" he said "I'm your doctor at this moment, not your father, so your puppy looks won't work" "I want to sleep" I turned away from them "Your friends are waiting outside" father said "I'm tired dad" I sighed "please don't let anyone in" They left me alone. *** The moment my eyes stopped at him, my heart stopped too. I looked at him like I was looking at myself for the first time in the 22 years of my life. He looked like he was my secret to keep and I his'. Mine. I felt complete. I don't remember how long the moment lasted, but it soon came crashing down on me, his identity. Dennis. I could see it, the change in his eyes, the panic. I could feel my own head getting lighter by the second. The shock was so huge that my body reacted before my brain registered it. I fainted. Dennis, the most perfect man I ever met, was my mate. Dennis, the boy I laughed at for not finding his mate at 16, was my mate. Dennis, whose mate I pitied for ever being born, was my mate. All these years, I was laughing at myself? I pitied myself? I could hear music from the engagement give away to loud claps. My wolf howled inside me, a sob left my mouth, I had to get away. ***** I opened the window of the hospital room that overlooked the forest and jumped off it. I shifted, letting my wolf shred the dress that I wore to his engagement into pieces. I let her take over, I let her mourn. Around midnight, after hours of aimlessly running around the entire forest, I could hear voices inside my head. They were looking for me 'I'm fine' I inform them and immediately shifted. I don't want them in my head. I look around, this is the farthest in our land I have ever been. This was the mountain that overlooked the lake. I stop at the sound of a loud growl coming from my left; I wasn't alone. I turned to look at the source but was instead hit with a bunch of clothes right at my face. Ah! I was naked. But this time it was my turn to growl as the scent from the clothes hit me. "Dennis" I whispered His back was facing me, I could hear him take a deep breathe. He pointed at the clothes in my hand. I obliged. "I.... I..." I wanted to tell him that I was clothed, but my tongue was tied just like my legs. I wanted to listen to him, despite my senses telling me to run away. I wanted to look at him, today, the closest he will ever be. My wolf purred inside me. I looked up at him as he turned to look at me. He was beautiful, not that I hadn't noticed it all these years; but now my eyes were looking at his perfectly sculpted face with different emotions. The moonlight reflected in his green eyes was the most soothing view ever, my wolf wanted to lie down at his feet in submission. Was that the power of the alpha? He stopped a few inches away from me. What was he doing? Sitting down on his knees, he looked up at me. His eyes were filled with emotions. A fire began to burn my heart as my face heated up in realization; pity, my mate pitied me. "I'm sorry" those were the first words my mate spoke to me. ********* Esther "I'm sorry" those were the first words my mate spoke to me. ------ He opened his mouth to continue, but stopped midway. He gripped his hair in frustration. All I could do is stand there like a stone and look down in daze as moonlight sparkled on him; soft locks kissing his neck, the helplessness in his dangerously beautiful eyes, the perfect shadow that his nose made and the way his lips moved, trying to form words. "I'm sorry" again Is this what my friends feel when they look at their mates? Is this what they are going to feel for the rest of their lives? "I'm sorry" and again This is what I'll be longing for. Knowing what it feels like to be complete, how am I supposed to live the rest of my life incomplete?