Don't Call Me Princess

Kara  I didn't realize how far I had run. All I knew was that I couldn't stay there anymore or I was going to go crazy for a man who didn’t deserve it. I didn't hear anything as I got further away, only the sound of my heartbeat pounding wildly against my ribcage, the sting of the cold against my skin and the echo of his voice. Get out or join us.  I couldn’t look back and I didn’t. If I did, I might crumble right there on the forest floor and begin to cry. I might decide to go back and beg him to take back his words. I didn’t want to cry nor did I want to make a mockery of myself. I had been doing that since the second year of our marriage till this moment. I was tired.  His last words had given me the final blow. I had been looking for a reason to justify that he truly hated me, but the disrespect, the hatred in his eyes, and nonchalance in his voice tonight made me truly realize he absolutely despised me.  The man who once promised to protect me had become the very man I had to protect myself from.  I didn’t remember how far I ran. My lungs burned and my feet ached, but the pain was nothing compared to what I was feeling inside. Disgust. Rage. Shame. Heartbreak so heavy that I felt like I was going to die of it. It felt like a big rock was placed on my chest.  By the time I got out of the forest, I was gasping for breath and half mad with exhaustion. My skin was damp with sweat and my clothes clung onto my skin, my face wet with tears I didn’t know had been flowing.  I looked ahead and saw a bar. I harshly blinked away the tears and snorts from my nose. I could see a few people outside, each with a drink in hand. At a dim corner, a couple made out intensely and I quickly averted my gaze as they looked like they were about to have sex right there. I gazed intently at the bar and noticed the paint on the walls beginning to peel and heard the pound country music playing loudly from the inside. The air reeked of werewolves. I looked around my surroundings and realized I was far away from the pack. I couldn’t bring it in me to call it home, and my wolf had cut off communication with me.  A place where no one knew me. It was perfect.  I slipped inside, my senses a bit dull by exhaustion. As I stepped in, the air reeked of sweat, alcohol and strong sexual desires. I pushed through the crowd, and slipped onto the furthest seat at the counter, my eyes taking in all the alcohol displayed in the bar. I unconsciously reached out to touch my pocket and found a few crumpled money.  “Something strong,” I ordered. My voice was hoarse but the bartender didn’t seem to notice or perhaps didn’t care and I was grateful for that.  He poured a drink without asking questions and I immediately liked him. The first sip burned my throat, sending me into a coughing fit but I enjoyed it. The bartender looked at me weirdly but said nothing.  After adjusting to the taste, I stared at the liquid in my glass, watching it tremble with the shaking of my hand. I caught my reflection in the back and I didn’t recognize the woman who stared back at me. My eyes were swollen, mascara smudge, cracked lips, wild hair and hollow face. It was a big contrast to the sophisticated woman I once was.  I thought drifted faraway as laughter erupted behind me. Two werewolves sat in the corner, fully drunk. I averted my gaze but turned it back immediately as I listened to them.  “Did you hear what Alpha Ryder did?” “Oh please. That man is losing it. He is just showing who he is. He keeps getting corrupted and greedy. I hope he meets bus karma soon.” “I heard he cheats on his mate and hates her. A friend of mine is a pack member and he keeps talking about how pitiful his mate is.”  “I think she deserves it. She must be a bad person for getting mated with someone like that. They are both evil!” My stomach tightened. I gripped the glass harder until it nearly cracked in my hand. I wanted to scream and shout at them that they knew nothing. I wanted to match up to them and tell them how wrong their judgment was but I stopped myself.  I finished my drink in one go and gestured for another.  “Rough night?” The voice came from behind me. It was low, deep, and full of confidence. I turned immediately, and my breath hitched.   I had always thought Ryder was the most attractive man I had ever seen but he didn’t hold a candle to the man in front of me. Ever since I got mated with Ryder, I had never looked at a man beyond what he should be.  What drew me in was his scent. He smelled of cool mint and pine. He had the kind of build that made people instinctively want to step back and bow to him. Tall, broad shouldered and lean muscles. A tattoo of a wolf howling at the moon inked the side of his neck. His face was carved to perfection but what made me unable to look away was his eyes. One of them was grey and the other black. I had never seen something like that before and it left me completely hypnotized.  There was nothing soft about him. Everything about him screamed of command and dominance. He had the kind of body that could protect and destroy at the same time.  I realized I was gaping at him and hadn't answered his question. “Yeah…..something like that,” I said, turning back to my drink.  I expected him to leave at my dismissive behavior but he took a seat beside me instead. I could feel him watching me and I suddenly became conscious of how I looked. I wanted to tell him to look away but the words wouldn’t just come out. I was too aware of how close he was, how easily I could reach out to touch him and I was sure if I leaned closer a little bit if I should face him, our lips would touch. I wondered what he tasted like. The thought startled me. I hadn’t thought about another man in years.  “I didn’t catch your name, princess. I’m Lucien.” I stiffened. The nickname lit a spark I didn’t have the strength to hide.  “Because I didn’t offer it,” I snapped. He didn’t flinch. If anything, his lips curled like my attitude entertained him. His mismatched eyes lingered on me, too steady, too knowing. As if he could see every crack I’d tried to hide tonight. “Besides, princess or not, you’re not worthy of using that on me.”