#Chapter 81: The Return

Ella I was lying on the examination table in a hospital gown with my feet up in the stirrups, staring at the ceiling tiles and trying to convince myself that this was the right thing to do. Dr. Evelyn said the procedure would be quick and relatively painless this early in the pregnancy. I could go home within a few hours, and it would be like it never happened. Did I want that? “Are you ready, Ella?” Dr. Evelyn asked as she pulled on a fresh pair of gloves. I opened my mouth to say yes, but the word wouldn’t come out. Instead, I found myself thinking about the tiny life growing inside of me. About the child who would have a perfect mixture of mine and Alexander’s features. About family dinners and bedtime stories and first steps all the moments I would never get to experience. “Ella?” Lilith squeezed my hand. “I…” My throat felt tight, like I couldn’t breathe properly. “I can’t,” I whispered, and then louder, “I can’t do this.” I sat up