Chapter 8

　　Photos of me racing with Conrad were posted 　　online. 　　John  　　tracked me down to my stepfather's banquet through one of those photos. 　　John  　　wanted to pay a visit, but my mother instructed the maid to douse him 　　with water. 　　“John , let me tell you this: you'll never see Vivian unless I'm 　　dead.” 　　John 's voice was filled with endless 　　regret: “Auntie, I know I was wrong. Please let Sharon see me.” 　　“No need. I'll never forgive you in this life.” 　　I stepped out from behind the door. 　　My eyes were devoid of any emotion, looking 　　at him as if he were a stranger. 　　I questioned him, word by word. 　　“Forgive you? Can my child come back to life?” 　　“Forgive you? Can the pain I've suffered just disappear?” 　　“Every time I think of those 99 crashes, my whole body screams in 　　agony.” 　　“How am I supposed to forgive you with all this?” 　　With each of my words, John 's face grew 　　paler. 　　His brows were tightly knitted, and his 　　eyes were bloodshot. 　　He grabbed my hand, tryin