Chapter 41

Ciara I knew what I had to do; and that was to break up with Jonathan. Because for one, I wasn't even sure if I was going to keep this child---this product of Ryan's seed-- If decided to get an abortion, I knew how well that was going to affect my life and I couldn't have Jonathan and Alena wrapped up in my mess. Two, if I decided to keep the child; then what next for Jonathan and I?. Was I going to make him father a child that wasn't his?. Knowing Jonathan, he wouldn't complain and do so wholeheartedly but this is the same Jonathan who didn't tell me he was having body pain nor his feet hurt and decided to walk the stage for my company's fashion show as my model. This same Jonathan--I was positive--if we were to raise this child together; wouldn't always see it as his own. There would at least be a reminder that this child was for Ryan. Call my thinking toxic or whatnot, I just couldn't help but think this way and the only solution was to end things with Jonathan. But Jonathan didn't