chapter 13

Marabella The water is so hot, the room fills with steam, and my skin turns bright red, yet I welcome the burning sensation. I will take anything to stop the pain in my chest, the sharp pain that feels like it is slowly compressing my lungs and squeezing the air out of me. It is blistering hot, my skin turns a dark red as the water beats against my flesh, but still, it is not enough. The anger and hatred within me is so strong, I feel like I am going to combust. I want to hurt something, hurt someone instead of being the one that is always taking the blows. I am so tired of being the one who suffers in silence, yet the pain is something that just heightens the anger I feel. I want the pain to stop. But at the same time, I need it too. I need it to prove myself that I am still here, still standing and breathing. It’s the only thing that proves that I am alive. So, I turn the anger inward. I need the numbness to return. Depression is funny like that; one minute, you feel too much, and ev