Didn't deserve to be a mother

Pressing my hand against my mouth, I took the stairs up and then slammed the door behind. There was a loud thud and then silence after that. I could no longer hear the taunts of Sydney. Her words had pierced into my head, deeper than I had imagined yet I knew it that she was a fucking psycho. Did Leander love me?! I stepped away from the basement and into the corridor where silent whimpers became loud. A tear fell from my eyes and onto my hand as I covered my mouth with it, to kill the sobs before anyone could hear it. Did I lose my child because I was meant to be alone? Can someone who really killed your family members really love you?! I thought about it for long and hard as thoughts of my child hood years flooded in my head. That one time when Leander killed my father in front of me. Did I really deserve a mate like him?!. Footsteps cascaded toward me and I stopped crying momentarily. My hands ran quickly over my cheeks, rubbing them dry and I cleared my throat before turning around