Chapter117:

Chapter 117 CELESTE  Not the pain itself, exactly, but what the pain represented. In those moments, I'd felt wanted. Desired. Like he was addicted to me, like he couldn't control himself around me. It had been the only time he'd seemed to actually see me as a person rather than a contractual obligation. I'd clung to those moments, treasured them, used them to convince myself that maybe he felt something for me after all. That maybe our arrangement was becoming real. But it never had. The next morning, he'd be back to treating me like a stranger who happened to live in his house. Cold, distant, barely acknowledging my existence unless he needed me for something. The new Xenois was nothing like that. He was tender, careful, constantly checking in to make sure I was comfortable. He never initiated anything unless he was certain I wanted it. He made love to me rather than fucking me, and it was beautiful and connecting and everything I'd always wanted. But part of me—a dark, shameful part