Just like the first time

Evelyn I woke up feeling weary and tired. My eyes were still swollen and red, a testament to the fact that I'd spent the whole night crying, despite my friends' company, which, in the end, I had refused and kicked them out. Jacob wasn't here... that thought alone was painful. And even if I set it aside, just the mere consideration of how I was going to face Dad made my condition ten times worse. I had, without a doubt, hurt him deeply. He had done everything he could for me throughout his life—dedicated it to my well-being, and here I was, causing him such pain. Jacob had told me to handle it calmly and let Dad vent his anger on me if he wanted to—if that was the way to lighten up his mood, I'd not complain. But following Jacob's advice wasn't going to do it all—I had to shoulder some blame as well. Fuck! I should have just told him about this long ago, before things had escalated to this point. But my fears got the better of me, and they had messed things up terribly. Fucked me up. Re