Meet the family- part one

I stared at the file with a million emotions raging inside me. Will I find answers to all my questions there? At least to a small one? A small but most important one. Is Raphael involved? I had a difficult time finding my voice or thinking coherently. Should I feel ashamed that my avenge took a back seat to this glaring uncertainty? My stomach churned, making me want to almost throw up my breakfast. Am I being selfish here? Thinking to guard my heart rather than seeking the culprit? Guilt is also playing a major role here. GUILT. Am I betraying Raphael by reading his family secrets? Is this considered as breaking trust? Could I meet his eye after reading this? Knowing I went behind his back, willingly digging skeletons from his family's closet? What will this do to our relationship? Will he ever forgive me, if he comes to know? It's not like you are selling this information. It's like Google search. Nothing no one doesn't know. I give myself a prep talk burying my guilt. God!