  "We think you're in heat" Aylin said from somewhere "so Ethan brought you home. The boys went back; they're not allowed here today"

  

      "Heat?" I couldn't think straight, goddess, what did I drink? "But....but it's not the season yet" I managed to cohere a sentence. I could feel my wolf jumping up and down. Not now, I told myself, she was my worst enemy at this moment. I pushed myself further into the shower.

  

      "We don't understand that either" Daisy murmured "It's just you, we are all fine"

  

      I couldn't point out the exact moment reality hit me, but it was there before I realized it. I knew why I was in heat and more importantly for whom.

  

      I shut my eyes tight. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I repeated. No tears. No tears.

  

      "Guys can you leave me alone" I managed to say

  

      "But, there's not one in your house" Ayli

  Dennis growled "Leave" He was gritting his teeth, you could visibly see his effort to control his animal. My wolf let out a happy howl inside me, she sure senses her mate getting excited.

  

      "Why?" I like Frank, he was asking for logic even at the brink of his doom.

  

      Dennis turned to glare at him, Frank gasped. I'm sure he saw the change. He must have never seen this side of Dennis.

  

      "Leave" he growled again

  

      "NO" it was me this time. I think it was the frustration of my body not cooperating with me, it made me act stupid. I threw away the duvet (I'm burning) "You are the one who should leave"

  

      The next second, I was pushed hard against the headboard with my mate's fingers around my neck "How dare you" he yelled. His wolf was almost there and it scared me to death. I couldn't utter one word of protest. His glare made me feel guilty; I low

  "request? And what's that?"

  

      "I wish to be granted leave from the pack for an indefinite period" I heard a sharp intake of breath

  

      "Do you wish to leave the pack" The alpha's voice raised a notch

  

      "No" I said quickly "I don't wish to be a rogue" pleading

  

      It was so much harder than I thought. Why was he here to add to my misery? Tears prick the back of my eyes, I hold them back.

  

      His chair shifted

  

      "Where are you going?" the alpha asked him

  

      "I'm sure she wishes to see you in private, alpha" he said

  

      "Sit down, you are going to take over in a week" the alpha said "you need to be a part of this decision"

  

      He looked at me "Esther why don't you explain it in a way I understand?"

  

      I prepare myself for whatever was coming my way. My life was ruined anyway, what more could happen to me? I decided to get over with it in a breath.

  

      "I was in the woods last night and I felt my mate. He must have been a human, his scent was weak. I tried to look around but he was gone. I wish to go out there and hunt him down. I don't know how long it will take for me to find him" I finished

  

      I hear a laughter coming from alpha Blake, I look at him confused. My heart was already at freezing point with the constant reminder that my mate was sitting right there and was doing nothing to stop me.

  

      "That is why I have always like you, girl" Alpha said "look at you chasing after your mate with such a high spirit" was he mocking someone? "other than the fact that everyone around me will be sad to see you go, I have no objections, we will keep you in our records as long as you wish to remain a part of this pack" I was about to thank him "What do you think, Dennis?" oh no "Dennis, are you all right?"

  

      My head turned to him in concern and I was hit with the intensity of his gaze. What was he doing? Did he wish to be found out?

  

      "Yes" he said finally "I agree with you, dad" his eyes strained on me. I closed my eyes and looked away; I was prepared for this, but it still hurt.

  

      "All right, I will send you the permission note by evening" Alpha said.

  

      I asked alpha to keep it a secret until I was ready to talk about it with my family and friends. He reluctantly agreed.

  

      I bowed to him and without sparing another glance at Dennis, sprinted out of the door as fast as I could. I let the pent up tears make their way out once I was out of his earshot.

  

      I spent the rest of the day packing and writing goodbye notes to everyone and promised to call back as soon as I was done with my 'me' time. I placed the letters on my study table. I only had to wait for the permission agreement and I was set to depart.

  

      I had a plan; the plan was to get as far away from my mate as possible and give myself the freedom to mourn. I was mechanically doing things right now, but I knew that the actual effect of the loss was yet to come.

  

      I didn't want to tell my people and make divisions in the pack. I would have done it if there was even a little hope for me, but there wasn't. The only thing my people could give me was their shoulder to cry on.

  

      *****

  

      "I'm not going to the party" I told them for the nth time "I was in the hospital yesterday, remember?"

  

      "What's with everyone's health these days" Tyler murmured

  

      "Who else is sick?" I asked

  

      "Flora" Daisy said, my breath hitched "She has been having a difficult pregnancy. Humans are physically weaker than us so it's hard for them to carry a pup."

  

      "So the hosts would be absent from today's party" Aylin said "Yesterday's event exhausted her and made her sick and Dennis is busy nursing her" My wolf yelped.

  

      "Let's go to the party" I yelled "I need a drink"

  

      Ethan pulled me to a corner "Are you alright? Where did you disappear yesterday? What's going on? Is there something you're not telling us?"

  

      "Stop stop stop" I raised my hand "I'm all right"

  

      "Are you sure?"

  

      "Yes"

  

      "Ok" he turned to leave

  

      "And Ethan" he looked back "I love you" he gave me a 'you have lost it' look. I grinned.

  

      ***

  

      "What's going on?" Daisy asked. She ran her hand all over my face, worried.

  

      I pushed her hand away "leave me alone" I whined, she was adding to my misery

  

      "You're drunk Esther" Aylin said

  

      "No shit Sherlock" I giggled. Pushing Daisy further away from me I started to try and unhook my dress. Damn, where's the stupid hook.

  

      My hands were suddenly pinned on either side of the sofa "leave me alone" I yelled; maybe they can't hear me because of the loud music "Hot! Hot! Hot!" I blasted again. They won't still let me go. Someone tie my hair please, it's hot in here.

  

      "I don't think it's just alcohol" someone said. Is that my Ethan? Come here let me hug you. Here. Here. Where is he?

  

      "Hold on a second, Esther" that sure was Daisy "You'll be fine; I promise"

  

      "Did someone add something in her drink?" Aylin piped in. That woman has crazy imagination. Shut up! I'm hot, do something about it fellas.

  

      "I think she's in heat. I can smell her" was it Tyler this time? Whoa! Am I a museum piece? Why are there so many eyes on me? Should I dance for them? Well that could make me feel better, I guess.

  

      I was about to push whoever was holding my spirits down when I felt like I was suddenly flying in the open sky. Yay!

  

      "Ethan what are you doing" Daisy? I guess there was no relief from the mother hen even in the free sky. Sigh!

  

      "I do not like the number of eyes on her" whoa! Someone just spoke from under me. It's Ethan, my twin, my wings "Heat or not she's not staying here."

  

      "Let's take her home" someone said

  

      "You are not following us, Bruce" Ethan yelled louder than the music "you're not mated" Why? Why? Why? I like Bruce, let's take him, please.

  

      ****

  

      "Key" What? What key? I don't have a key. I'm the lock; remember? Hehehehe....

  

      "In her pocket" someone's touching me again. Do I like it? Hmmm.... Give me a moment to think about it.

  

      **

  

      Ahhhh....Ahhhh....Ahhhh!!!

  

      What the hell is going on? Shower? Why am I under the shower? It's strangely comforting though.

  

      "Are you awake, love" Daisy asked

  

      "Yeah, what happened" I am trying hard to open my eyes. I slap my head a couple of times to make sense of things.

"We think you're in heat" Aylin said from somewhere "so Ethan brought you home. The boys went back; they're not allowed here today"
  
      "Heat?" I couldn't think straight, goddess, what did I drink? "But....but it's not the season yet" I managed to cohere a sentence. I could feel my wolf jumping up and down. Not now, I told myself, she was my worst enemy at this moment. I pushed myself further into the shower.
  
      "We don't understand that either" Daisy murmured "It's just you, we are all fine"
  
      I couldn't point out the exact moment reality hit me, but it was there before I realized it. I knew why I was in heat and more importantly for whom.
  
      I shut my eyes tight. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. I repeated. No tears. No tears.
  
      "Guys can you leave me alone" I managed to say
  
      "But, there's not one in your house" Aylin protested
  
      "What if something happens" Daisy added
  
      "Please" I b

Chapter 7