Chapter 104: This Is My Space

I probably needed a good trim. My hair was almost brushing the tops of my breasts now, a length that told me just how long I’d neglected myself. In the mirror, the truth stared back at me. Red-rimmed eyes, smudgy eye bags, lips cracked and dry, cheekbones cutting sharp under sallow skin. I looked like someone who’d crawled out of a gutter. A junkie clutching her fix. The pill. It sat in my open palm, white and tiny. My other hand held a glass of water, beads of condensation slicking my fingers. The decision should have been simple. It had been simple every other time for a while now. But tonight, my hand trembled. I glanced down at my stomach, palm splaying over flat skin as though I could conjure something—life, possibility. What if? What if Roman’s baby was already there? My baby. I let out a humorless laugh at myself. Who was I kidding? Magic didn’t exist. Pills didn’t just stop working because you wanted them to. I’d been on them for years. If I wanted a chance at motherhood, I’d h