Chapter 138

Ican’t do this. I thought I could, but I was mistaken. Being back in New York is harder than I ever imagined. I stayed in Charleston for two weeks, and everything felt so much simpler there. Elijah and I started to exchange messages about a week ago, and all our conversations are heartbreakingly polite. We’re both committed to staying calm and civil, and that isn’t something we’ve ever been good at. We agreed that we didn’t want things to get nasty and decided that the only lawyer involved would be Drake. It’s a hell of a position to put him in, but he said he doesn’t mind, and he is at least someone we both trust. Nathan would be a different matter, of course—he’d have me out on the streets with my possessions in a shopping cart quick as a flash. My pride screamed at me to simply tell him I don’t want a dime, but that isn’t sensible or even fair. I’ve contributed to this marriage, to Elijah’s life and social standing. Being Mrs. Elijah James is the reason I never built my own career.