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God Of MaliceGod Of Malice
에:: Rina Kent

9

GLYNDON Grandpa once told me there will be times when I’ll feel so trapped that a way out seems impossible. I’ll be suffocated. I’ll feel so out of my element, as if all the walls are closing in on my heart. He said that if I felt that way, the key is to stay calm, to not let fear seep in. A disaster might or might not kill you, princess. But being terrified of it would definitely finish you. I wish I had enough access to my brain so I could use it to put Grandpa’s words into perspective. I wish I was strong like him, Uncle, Dad, or Mum. I wish I wasn’t thinking about ways of dissolving into the wall or the earth. Or anywhere that’s not in the stranger’s field of vision. His body covers my front and it’s all hard, strong, and so terrifying, I feel like I’m going to throw up. Memories from two nights ago slash my bruised conscience and ugly voices scream in my head. Loud. Louder. I think… I’m having a panic attack. I can’t have a panic attack. I’ve always been apathetic in a way, hard t

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