Chapter 46

Fear. Usually people feared spiders, the dark, or falling. I was scared of being touched, of being taken advantage of. I was terrified of my father and Destiny. I'm not scared of what normal people are. I had always let fear rule my life. It was why I never stuck up for myself or fought back. Normal people didn't fear their friends or their crush. I was afraid of everything and anything, and I was terrified to let him kiss me. But I wanted to. I wanted him to lean down an inch more and touch our lips together. But I was scared of what would follow. Would he stop the kiss, or keep going even if I didn't want to? Or would he let me have control? I had no idea how to kiss someone. I had read a lot of books, but this was the real thing. It would be our first kiss when we hadn't even gone on a real date yet. But how do you learn when you never practice? My chest was aching and my breathing never calmed. I had never had this feeling before.