Chapter 47 : While It Lasts

Theodora's POV The fact that I could practically feel when Mads and Javier were nearby was really fucking weird. The strain of our physical distance from each other was relaxing even if the emotional tension was still there. It killed me that I couldn't see them. I couldn't let them in. If I did, I'd crumble into a pathetic sobbing mess because I missed them so damn much. The worst fucking bout of homesickness I'd ever felt. Funny. I thought Peacemaker was home. The ship I loved so much, the same one Javier called a rust bucket. A sharp laugh left my lips, followed by a hollow feeling in my chest. My eyes felt so puffy, sore, and red. I couldn't stand Javier back then. My attraction to him was skin-deep. An annoying sexual ache with pent-up frustration from my breakup with Mads. Simple as hell. It wasn't until after I saved him from the Pantomath that it started to feel more serious. That I started to notice how deep it ran. And started to finally notice how Mads looked