You Don't Get To Talk To Me That Way

Kara  I felt a large heavy weight in my chest. I frowned, not fully awake but wondering what the heavy weight was. My hand reached out to touch a head and I wondered when Ryder came into the room to sleep. He always avoided me like a plague, so, what changed? I groaned as I tried sitting up straight but a heavy weight on my waist kept pulling me back. I opened my eyes in annoyance and stared at a ceiling that was completely different from the ones I have been seeing for the past five years.  I frowned in confusion and all the memories of yesterday flooded in. I sat up abruptly, clutching the sheet to my chest, staring at the stranger who kept me pinned down. It was Lucien. The air in the room was full of his scent. His scent clung to my skin and hair.  What have I done? “On my goodness! What have I done?!” With great difficulty, I tore off his arms off my waist and saw my discarded dress laying on the floor. I quickly got off the bed, my head pounding and my body felt sore all over.  Quickly putting on my dress, I stared at Lucian. His lower body was covered with the sheet, his face relaxed and peaceful. For a brief second, I wanted to touch him again. I remembered the way he stared at me yesterday, like he had finally seen what he had been searching for. I pressed my trembling thumb on my lips. It was swollen slightly and still tingled from his sweet rough kisses.  As I looked away, something glinted on the table beside him. It was a gold ring with an ancient crest. My heart thumped lightly. It seemed I had seen it once. I tried hard to remember where I had seen it but couldn’t recall. As I moved to check it, he shifted slightly and I immediately turned and ran away as quietly as I could, completely forgetting what I saw.  I had spent years blaming Ryder for breaking me, for destroying every part of who I was, and last night, I had done the same. I had betrayed the bond. No matter how twisted things had become between us, I had crossed a line I could never uncross.  I was no better than him.  The realization made me sick.  ~ It was hours before I got the road back to the pack. The walk back to the pack’s territory felt endless. Every step I took was filled with worry and dread. My wolf still refused to speak to me. I didn’t know if it was because she was still grieving or she was ashamed about what I’d done. I kept my head down as the guards opened the gate and let me pass through. I had rubbed my body with leaves and sand so I would erase the scent of Lucien on me but I could still smell it even though it wasn’t too noticeable.  I told myself that I was going to fix it. I’d apologize. I’d endure whatever Ryder threw at me, maybe I’d even beg if I have to. Anything to make this night disappear. But deep inside me, I didn't want to. He was also cheating on me and had the nerve to parade it in my face with a single remorse.  When I finally stepped through the front door of our home, everything wasn’t as I expected.  It was silent.  No one noticed I was gone. Or maybe, no one cared. A few servants and maids glanced at me, eyes full of pity, whispering before averting their gaze.  Soon, I heard laughter. It was Ryder’s.  I didn’t know how to feel or what I was even expecting for an abandoned Luna who the alpha hated.  I stood frozen in the hallway, my fists clenching together. The sound of laughter came from the kitchen. It was a deep, masculine laughter that belongs to the one I was mated to.  I followed the sound to the kitchen, and I saw them.  Ryder sat at the head of the table, a cup of coffee in one hand, his lips curled into a lazy smile. Across from him was Sasha, on my seat, seat meant for Luna. She was draped in his shirt. I felt my heart tightened.  She was feeding him a piece of fruit, giggling softly, her hands brushing his cheeks like she owned him. Ryder leaned into her touch, whispering something that made her blush and swat away his hand reaching for her breast.  I froze.  The immense guilt I felt for what I did yesterday night vanished and was replaced with disgust. Then, I realized all the love I had for him had faded and had long turned into detest and anger. Somehow, I didn’t get jealous at the sight. I remembered Lucien’s perfect smile and the anger in me shimmered down.  Then, Ryder’s head snapped up and his eyes met mine. He flashed me a wicked smile.  “Well, look who finally decided to crawl back,” he drawled, leaning back into his chair. You look awful, Kara. Rough night?”  I immediately remembered how Lucien approached me with the same question. It sounded sweet and pleasant compared to this bastard.  Sasha’s shrill laughter, a sound I had always detested pulled me out of my thoughts. I saw her bent forward seductively and whispered something in his ear. Ryder chuckled, his eyes glinting with malice and excitement.  “Seems you didn’t notice I was gone, Ryder.” He seemed surprised at my calm tone but spoke coldly. “Should I have? You’re always sucking somewhere in the house. At least you took the chance to go outside. You smell awful and look pathetic. Go take a bath.” The remaining ounce of patience I had for him vanished and something in me vanished.  It wasn’t just his words, but the way he said they, that same careless cruelty that had once left me broken had now ignited something dark in me.  I stared at him and all the memories of what I had endured in the name of becoming a perfect Luna cam flooding back. The lies, the humiliation, the belittlement, the way he made me question my worth thousands of times everyday until I believed I had none.  “You do not get to talk to me like that, Ryder,” I said quietly but angrily, my voice was shaking but enough to make the smile wipe off his face. Both he and Sasha stared at me in shock.  “What did you say?” He asked with narrowed eyes.  “I believe you’re not deaf.” I said, staring at him without flinching You do not get to talk to me that way, Ryder.”