#Chapter 119: Hidden Emotions

Guilt - because the sound of Jack’s name - even on the lips of Kadeem, who I love - makes my stomach flutter and an inexplicable longing courses through me. I am so thankful Kadeem can’t witness this bewildering tumble of emotions, so relieved that I’m hidden from his ever-observant gaze. He would read me like a book, deciphering me, as he always has, and I wouldn’t even know how to explain this tangled maelstrom inside of me. I would have no excuse for it. An explanation doesn’t even seem to exist! “Honestly, Ardal?” He sounds hesitant. God, he’s got such a spider sense. “Scout’s Honor,” I say, clearing my throat. “Why are you asking me this?” Kadeem leaves my question untouched. I hear an urgency come over his tone. “If there’s any sign of him, promise you’ll tell me?” I bring my other leg up to my chest. My cheeks are beginning to burn. “I mean - you don’t have anything to worry about, you know?” I take a short breath, my words almost a reminder to myself. “It was neve