Chapter 101: Nate's Birthday, Mum

Maya 23rd November. His birthday. The irony cut deeper than any blade.  When Nate took his last breath, I was certain I wouldn’t survive another second without him. And yet, two weeks had already passed. But was I truly living? I didn’t think so. Breathing, yes. Living? That felt like a foreign concept, a cruel joke. Life, as I understood it, was no longer mine. If I dared to compare my existence now to what it once was, the answer would be painfully obvious. And I didn’t want the truth. Not now. Not when every moment was a battle to convince myself and everyone else that I was still alive. Even that charade was growing harder. Breathing felt like a chore—a burden I didn’t want to bear. Sometimes, I’d lie underwater in the tub, holding my breath until my lungs burned, teetering on the edge of oblivion. But I always came back up. Always. Tonight, I stood on the balcony, staring at the sky. The moon hid behind thick clouds, and I found myself wishing I could vanish too, dissolve into the